Hairstylist talk – the truth to achieving healthy hair

I’ve been a hairstylist for almost eight years now and just in that short time it’s absolutely fascinating to see the trends and styles that have evolved. I figured this would be an incredibly fun and informative post to share with you all. We’ve got all the dirt on having healthy hair as a blonde, the horror of social media and hair, if dry shampoo is bad for you, and of course all the tricks to help YOU have the healthiest hair possible! I feel like I have to add a disclaimer on this because this is all written as my view as a hairstylist. I respect your opinion if you think differently and am in no way trying to ruffle any feathers sharing this. Now let’s get to the juicy stuff!

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blondes, toner + color talk

As someone who specializes in blondes and 90% of my clientele being blondes I feel deeply on this topic. Just because you have blonde hair it doesn’t mean its automatically damaged. In all my years of blondes I have never had someones hair get damaged. This might be more of a personal thing, but I care way more about the integrity of the hair over the final look. I will happily let you walk around with orange hair or hair you don’t like for 4 weeks before letting you walk out of the salon with damaged hair. It’s a process that has to be trusted and just know your stylist is keeping your hairs health in mind.

Some things you can absolutely do as a highlight client is to watch how your stylist applies the highlights. Watch how they part your hair and figure your hair foiling pattern. Ask about the developer and what kind of lightener she’s using. Be picky with your hair. Again, I can only speak for myself on this but a highlight should be customized to YOUR head shape and how YOU wear your hair. Highlights are not a one head fits all. If your stylist is absolutely annoyed by this and gets snarky with you/refuses to do something new it’s time to find a new stylist that makes it all about you.

Toners have been a hot topic over in my DM’s on Instagram. Mainly asking what they hair and how to ask for one. Toners are a semi-permananet color that helps to cancel out unwanted tones to achieve the desired tone level. Like I said, these are not permanent. When a toner is used with blondes it’s used to cancel out the unwanted tones like yellow and orange. It’s also used when asking for caramel highlights or red highlights against dark hair. A toner used on its own can be used for blending or for its glossy feature to add shine to the hair!

One of the other big questions what when to ask for one and that can be tricky. Your stylist should know when to offer it or use it in a service, but here are some examples of when you could ask! If you want to add some shine to your hair because you feel your hair is dull, you can ask for a clear gloss. I do this on my SIL every 8-10 weeks. She has the most beautiful mocha hair but she feels it gets dull and the shine adds the perfect amount of shine without altering any color. If you’re blonde and wanting to go dark but aren’t sure if you’ll love it, toner is awesome for this because it’s not permanent. It slowly fades overtime without any line of demarcation.

What exactly is a permanent color and a semi-permanent color? My friend Katy uses this example best and I now tell all my clients it when explaining. Look at a pair of pants (permanent color) compared to panty-hose (semi-permanent color). If you have pants on you cannot see through them. They cover everything. Now put that panty-hose on. They’re sheer and have some coverage but not the coverage pants do! It’s truly that simple haha. Let’s throw fashion colors in to the mix (blue, green, red, orange, pink, purple) which are also all semi-permanent! The vibrancy of these fashion colors all start with a white base(which isn’t a color) and then the color pigment is thrown in to create the fun colors. The vibrancy of these colors are never guaranteed but it’s funny how when you want them gone they tend to stay forever and vice versa.

Now, when to know when to use a permanent vs a semi is entirely up to you and your stylist 🙂

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purple shampoo/blue shampoo and when to use it.

After any blonding service your stylist might recommend taking home a purple or blue shampoo. They are not telling you to take home a product per their sales, promise! They are simply encouraging you to help prolong the tone of your hair that they spent the last few hours achieving. A purple shampoo helps to cancel out yellow tones while a blue shampoo help to cancel out orange tones! In a way this is an at-home toner. However, the color pigment in the shampoos are not as strong as the chemicals in a toner. I don’t want to confuse anyone between the two.

There’s also a big understanding that these shampoos are a fix all and they are 100% not. These shampoos will only work on certain levels of hair. Our color levels go from 1-11 where level 1 is black and level 11 is white. The average natural hair color is a 7 and that’s usually an ashy dishwater blonde. I share this because purple and blue shampoo will not work if the yellow and orange are below a level 7. Nothing will happen no matter how long you leave the shampoo on your hair. If you’re at that point where you use the purple/blue shampoo and don’t see results I would talk to your stylist about what your next steps are to achieve a brighter color. For those wanting to find a new purple/blue shampoo I have some awesome options below!

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how hot should your appliances be

Did you know the temperature options on your appliances aren’t so you can get your hair done faster, but they’re there to accommodate all hair texture types?! This is my fav fun fact to share:)

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are sulfates bad for you

The ONLY reason you shouldn’t use a shampoo with a sulfate in it is if you are allergic to it. Period.

There are two types of sulfates in shampoo: sodium lauryl sulfate and sodium laureth sulfate. These sulfates are cleaning agents that create a lathering affect. They are VERY different than the sulfates found in cleaning products. Which is why sulfates have such a bad rep in hair products. They don’t make your hair fade faster, damage it or even dull your hair. They don’t do anything other than help clean the oils and build-up out of your hair.

It’s always nice to blame something for a color fading or damage but the truth is that you walking around under florescent lights at work, under uv rays outside, using hairspray, and blowdrying/curling your hair is the cause of your color fading or any damage happening. Environmental causes that we cannot control do more damage to our hair than anything.

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social media

Social media is literally a dream and a nightmare for any hairstylist. Show me all your inspiration photos, show me what you love. I adore Pinterest for just that. However, stylists also wish that each picture broke that color/style down so that you, the client, had an understanding of what really goes into it. Slapping a filter on and adding extensions make for the dreamiest photos and inspiration but it’s not realistic and it can be incredibly challenging.

A great example for this are all those white ashy blonde hair pictures you see. This picture below is my client, Chloe. She has a stunning natural ashy color that lifts to this beautiful ashy blonde and what I did was on the left! Now look at the one I edited on the right. All I did was put the saturation all the way day and this beautiful creamy blonde turned into ice white blonde. Both are beautiful but only one is realistic.

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Inspiration photos are so wonderful. I’ll never get over how great they are and they have saved me in so many situations where a client and I just can’t seem to connect. It’s important with those photos to also be realistic with your searches. I have my fav meme ever that I die laughing at every time that explains everything perfectly below. Get detailed in your search. If you have fine hair search “hairstyles for fine hair” or “haircuts for thin hair”.

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Stop wasting your money on trending words…and trending hair treatments

Media can sell you anything, and if they use their words right you will fall for it. I’m here to tell you to ignore it because you are absolutely fine without that #trending product. Let’s take the word detox for example. You physically cannot detox your hair. Detoxing is something our bodies naturally do (thank you liver) because it’s alive. Our hair is dead the moment it leaves the surface of the scalp and is made entirely up of protein! The hair shaft is porous and can hold moisture but it’s not alive. Detox is such a powerful word and is used to make things sounds better when in reality you can’t actually do it.

If you want to “detox” your hair invest in a clarifying shampoo that helps to exfoliate any dead skin/product build up off your scalp. To me a clarifying shampoo is a clarifying shampoo. I’m not super picky because it’s used once every few washes alongside your regular shampoo! I have a couple that I recommend linked below.

While we’re on the topic of cleansing..there’s no need to put food on your hair. I promise nothing good will come out of putting egg yolks or applesauce on your hair. I wish I could teach everyone the anatomy of hair and just how small our cuticle stems are on the hair shaft. Any oil molecules in hair products have to be stretched thinner and thinner just to penetrate the cuticle. Adding egg yolk and coconut oil to your hair will make your hair look great at first, but so will rubbing wax on you hair. It’s temporary and adds no benefits because it cannot penetrate the hair shaft no matter how long you leave it on. If you eat it or cook with it you it does not belong on your hair. Period. Instead, here are some hair masks that I recommend.

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The truth behind washing your hair every day + how to train your hair

It’s actually incredibly healthy to not wash your hair every day. This is also a to each their own topic. Our scalps produce natural oils throughout the day and these are healthy oils that help to balance the pH levels on our scalp. When we shampoo our hair too often (every day) you are stripping those natural oils your scalp spent all day producing. When this becomes a continuous (every day) thing our scalps go into overtime and start to produce twice as much oil to overcompensate for all the oil it lost. Our scalp goes into freak mode and feel the need to make twice to three times as much oil because it can’t figure out how to keep up to balance out that pH. This is a lot of the reason as to why so many struggle with oily hair and it’s because your scalp isn’t healthy.

One big way to help with this is to train to your to go longer between washes. This is not something that happens over night and it takes a couple weeks for your hair to catch on to what you’re doing. A healthy way to go about this is to start training your hair on weekends you have nothing to do. If you currently work from home this is the perfect time to do it. Don’t touch your hair at all for the whole weekend or for at least 48 hours after your last wash. Continue this pattern and you’ll notice a big difference in your oil production. The biggest trick i have to help with going the all natural way is the wear your hair up and avoid contact at all cost.

If you need a little help I recommend using dry shampoo but using it the night before. Follow the spray instructions recommend on the can and really spray the dry shampoo down your part line and your oily spots. After be sure to put your head upside down and massage the powder in. Clip your hair up and forget about it.

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is dry shampoo bad for you?

I initially wasn’t going to include this but after a week of letting this post sit I feel the need to touch base on this. I’ve seen a lot of TikToks saying how horrible dry shampoo is and it’s not like this is just one video otherwise I probably wouldn’t say anything but we all know the power of social media and this false information has traveled fast. So let me break it down for ya! Anything you use too much has the potential to be bad for you.

Dry shampoo isn’t terrible and it’s not bad for you by any means. However, if you use it non-stop, every day for years and years I absolutely see some terrible scalp problems surfacing. I jokingly say in my Instagram bio “Probably on day 4 of dry shampoo”. I’m not, but I most definitely have gone 4 days without washing my hair! Like any other product we use it’s all meant to be used in moderation. For the purpose of using dry shampoo in place of washing your hair it shouldn’t be used every day. If I wash my hair on a Monday and go 4 days between my washes, I will add dry shampoo the end of day two before going to bed and that’s it. Product build up is always a possibility with anything but head to my next section to read on that 😉

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are you using your products correctly & do you know how to wash to your hair?

This topic might seem silly to some but all hair product have instructions on them…even for washing!! Moroccan Oil is a great example. They have a line that is focused on repair. You would think that any type of damaged feeling hair is a candidate, right?! Here’s the trick…it’s only for damaged hair that’s been damaged by chemical or color services. There are certain proteins in this shampoo that is meant to build up those that have been damaged. If you don’t have that damage and you use this shampoo you could potentially be causing more damage. Another great example are hair masks. They’re moisturizing and make your hair soft. Super easy! Think again…There are repairing hair masks that have super powerful ingredients that when left on longer can cause some pretty bad damage.

Another really good one is a shine spray. It’s a spray that adds shine so how hard could that be? Well, most shine sprays spray out “bubbles” that hold the shine in them. These bubbles don’t pop once they touch the hair and have to pop on their own. Touching your hair directly after can force the bubbles to pop and take your hair from shiny to greasy real fast! It’s soo important to read the instructions on products. If you’re unsure how to use them you can always go to any of the products websites and there is always a how-to section in the descirpiton.

Washing your hair seems like such an easy task but for a good thorough clean it’s recommend to shampoo twice. This doesn’t mean to squeeze one massive glob into your hand to get out of it. There’s a reason to this! If you use any sort of product you have to clean it out and it usually takes one shampoo to fully pull all that product off the hair and scalp and then another wash to clean your scalp. The best example I have for this is like doing the dishes. If you put a knife if it that’s covered in dried peanut butter it won’t come off that one and only wash. You have to scrub the knife prior and then you put it through the dishwasher to sanitize it.

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drug store vs salon products

Saving this one for second to last because it’s something to really think about and I could honestly talk on it the most. The hard truth to this is that salon products are held at a higher standard than drug store products are and they always will be. Manufacturers who create drug store shampoo (Pantene, suave, etc.) care more about how they can get you, the buyer, to get their product in their home. They use catchy advertising and trending words and celebrities that are being paid top dollar just to hold the product. Their marketing is absolutely genius haha. They will change the packaging and using hot words to get you to buy and it works.

Products in salons held at a higher standard (Kerastase, Kenra, Living Proof, Moroccanoil, Biolage, ect.) market their products in ads for sure but they will never go to the extent drug store products do. Why? Because they know their products are good and have the confidence their products will sell on their own. I can speak on this because I have worked in my salon for nearly a decade and the labels and marketing has not changed. The only thing that has changed overtime is the upgrade on the product shape for easier use by the consumer and display of the products, but never the products themselves.

I’m getting real off-topic but a great example of this is coconut oil. It got hot real fast in the media. Drug stores started marketing their products to say ‘contains coconut oil’ and put coconuts on their packaging. Whereas salon products didn’t change their product/packaging because they know coconut oil on your hair isn’t good. The coconut oil molecule is too big for our hair to digest making it incredibly unhealthy. This is just one of many examples but one of the bigger one that irks me.

Let’s talk about the price difference because I totally understand needing to stay within budget on beauty products. The reason drug store products are so inexpensive is because there could be 1% of the good stuff (because you have to have in it what you say is in it even if it’s .001% of it) and the rest is full of filler. This filler is made up water and ingredients that coat your hair in a waxy film to give the illusion it’s shiny and healthy. That shine is like a top coat of nail polish. No matter how chipped your nails may be, they will always look better with a shiny top coat. Think of your hair as that chipped polish. If it’s super damaged and you put drug store shampoo on it you’re basically masking your hair and never nourishing it. This waxy buildup also makes it very challenging for the good stuff in oils/leave in treatments/heat protectants to be used for their full potential.

High-end salon products come with a higher price because there’s a lot more science that goes behind it. The salon brands have figured out how to give you volume all while protecting the cuticle and protecting your color. These brands have found a way to rebuild keratin that is lost during a bad chemical service. These brands have figured out a way to give the ultimate moisture to your curls to revive their bounce without making your scalp over oily. It’s the coolest thing about the hair care world and instead of giving you that 1% of the good stuff drug stores give they give you 90% and use just water as their filler.

Linking the products that I use here if you want to check that out!

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should my child use high end products

Using higher end products certainly won’t hurt their hair that’s for sure! This one is hard to touch on because as moms we all want what’s best for our babies. We want to use gentle products on their skin just like we want them to eat healthy. Baby shampoo is very acidic in its ingredients. It’s not terrible for babies but it’s also not the best. Since their hair is so new and so fresh you really won’t notice anything happening to it. You would probably notice more of an affect from it on their skin than their hair. When they’re super little (newborn – three years old) I wouldn’t bat an eye at it. I used Tubby Todd Products on my girls from newborn to two years old and I actually have a code that can save you some $$. Code: FORYOUKENDRARAYMER for 10% off.

In those years of 4-10 is when I would start taking it more seriously. I used to have a picture that I took of one of my clients that shows a perfect example but I cannot for the life of me find it. If you have a little girl, I encourage you to take her hair and hold the end of her hair up to her roots. If you see a big difference in that shine…it’s not a good thing. I typically get a lot of “I love that shine she has” and I promise you do not want it. This shine is a waxy buildup caused by drugstore products and chlorine from swimming pools. It’s tangles hair, makes it harder to comb, and damages it. Essentially it’s suffocating the hair and causing permanent damage. The only solution is to cut it off if it gets too bad. We all have a natural shine to our hair and that natural shine indicates healthy natural hair. When the hair starts looking almost synthetic due to the shine that’s when it’s a problem.

It’s not necessary to go out and purchase $30 shampoo for your six year old. However, I encourage you to add a clarifying shampoo into her shampoo routine every other week. A clarifying shampoo helps to break down that build up and prevent future buildup from happening.

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xx-Kendra